The Crystal Ball
Thursday, July 20, 2000 - 23:00
A couch potato discovers the transformative powers of the Crystal Ball in today's Livin' Large Spotlight.
Lenny is the king of the couch potatoes. Mmmm, big-screen TV.
One day, Lenny orders something from a shopping channel on cable. An "authentic" crystal ball.
He peers closely into the glass sphere...images swirl magically before him. Cool, this is like a new kind of TV.
It speaks! But Lenny is confused by the cryptic riddle. Get moving? Action? Bah, it's all just a bunch of mumbo jumbo.
But what if it's like a chain letter? Maybe it means something bad will happen to him if he won't get off his big fat sofa. Lenny decides to nap on it.
Refreshed, he decides "better safe than sorry," and goes outside. Into the actual sunshine. Air ball! This is why Lenny hates basketball.
Just to be sure, Lenny decides to dust off the workout bench he's been using as a coat rack.
Lenny goes out for an evening wade in the pool. He's a terrible swimmer, but at least he can float a little.
"I bet this thing is completely fake. I've been running around like an idiot all day for nothing," he thinks.
Lenny begins to feel strange. Hmm, you know, all this activity today was actually sort of invigorating.
"Maybe just one more test to see if I still hate basketball." Two points! Better make that two or three more tests.
From sofaholic to hoopster... what else does the future hold for Lenny? Only the crystal ball knows for sure.